Opening up to vulnerability and uncertainty

Brenè Brown’s Ted Talks about Shame and Vulnerability have been viewed millions of times. In addition to researching vulnerability Brenè Brown is also the author of the two books “The Gifts of Imperfection” and “Daring Greatly”. Her main message is that we need to get away from the misunderstanding that to be vulnerable means to be weak. Instead we need to understand that our vulnerability is actually the birthplace for love, connection, joy and creativity and the tool for creating meaning in our life.

She explains that we live in a culture of scarcity where nothing is ever enough. We are so involved in the search for the extraordinary that we forget to value the gift of the ordinary moments in our life. She explains that, in order to avoid the pain of vulnerability, the first thing people do in the mornings when they get up is to put on an armour of protection: an armour of seeking perfectionism, of numbing emotions, of judgement, of ‘busyness’. However, the sad truth is that when we try to numb out the potential negative emotions we might also shut out the positive emotions.

According to Brenè wholehearted living is the antidote to numbing out life. It is to show up in the world and do the work you are born to do whilst being vulnerable, trusting what emerges and being open to the possibility of failure and of being hurt. It is also helpful to surround yourself with the people who will fully support you when things go wrong and remind you that you showed courage and you tried and that that is all that matters. She stressed that in order to practise vulnerability we need to exercise gratitude, honour the ordinary in our life and allow ourselves to fully experience the emotions of joy and love.

With regard to creativity, she says that it is important to live a creative life. She summarized her thoughts about creativity in her book “The gifts of imperfection”:

1)   There is no such thing as a creative person and a non-creative person. The only distinction is that one person uses their creativity and the other doesn’t.

2)   The only unique contribution we will ever make in this world is born of our creativity.

3)   Only by being creative can we cultivate real meaning in our life.

When asked how she copes with criticism she said that she has learnt to have profound respect for herself and everybody else out there who is facing vulnerability and uncertainty being ‘in the arena’ and doing their work and that she does not respect comments from people who stand outside the arena looking in. With ‘being in the arena’ Brenè refers to a speech by Roosevelt:

 “It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.”

It’s not easy to be vulnerable, to show up and face uncertainty. It feels safer to bury your creativity inside. However, Brenè says that in her view you can either make this world a better place or a worse place. By nurturing your creativity you most definitely will make this world a better place for all of us.

You can read Brenè’s full blog post ‘To live a creative life’ here.