Tuesday, 5 November 2013

How to stop the Inner Critic and create a calm Inner Mind




Walking across the fields yesterday I came across this recent victim of last week’s autumn storm. A tree that for many years had seemed to be strong and firmly rooted could not withstand the force of the wind. It made me think how this can be a metaphor for our own life. How strong, grounded and flexible are we when life’s adversities blow our way? It is a fact of life that not everything goes to plan all of the time. Stress is a common problem most of us struggle with, more often than we want to. The result is that we feel overwhelmed, confused, exhausted. We work hard but achieve very little and feel like a hamster on a wheel.

On the contrary, with a calm inner mind we can achieve so much more, we use our time more efficiently and we have much more fun. We also have much better access to our own creativity. The good news is that it’s possible to achieve this resourceful state. There are some tools like deep breathing which can bring some instant relief. In the long run however, it is necessary to make a commitment to practice a calmer mind on a regular basis.

So what’s preventing us from having this desirable calm inner state? Where does the inner chatter come from, the inner critic, the doubts, the criticism, the fear of failure?

Timothy Gallway in his book ‘The Inner Game of Work’ explains that he discovered two distinctive types of Self, Self 1 and Self 2. Self 1 is our inner critic, the internalized voice of others, our parents, our teachers to name but a few. Self 2 on the contrary is our natural self, our inherent potential for learning, growing and enjoying life. He discovered that when we manage to calm down Self 1 and trust the natural resourcefulness of Self 2 change can happen more quickly, more effectively and often without much less effort.

What actually happens when Self 1 appears on the scene? Self 1 is not entirely bad news, its intentions are good if not always useful. Self 1 wants to keep us safe and out of trouble. In evolutionary terms this makes complete sense.

Think about our hunter-gatherer forefathers who had to face danger to their life on a daily basis. They needed a safe, fast and trustworthy mechanism for survival. This is our fight or flight mechanism. In a dangerous situation you don’t have to think, your body gets mobilized immediately to either run or fight and incredible resources can be released in a very short time. In 2009 the Scientific American printed an excerpt from Jeff Wise’s book “Extreme Fear: The Science of our mind in danger” which describes the incredible strength with which Tom Boyle, Jr singlehandedly lifted a car to free a cyclist trapped underneath (here is the link to the article: http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=extreme-fear-superhuman). These superpowers can be extremely useful in the right circumstances.

Evolutionary our survival mechanism is much older than our newer analytical prefrontal cortex and it is alive and working within us in the same way as it does for our cat and our dog. Unfortunately our survival mechanism does not only kick in when we are in danger of our life but in all kinds of other situations that are not really dangerous. Like giving a presentation or going to a networking event promoting your business or writing a blog (don’t I know!). The inner critic gets alert and tells you: “You’re not good enough”, “They will laugh at you”. “You’re just going to embarrass yourself.” Better not to do it, not yet anyway. Better to do another course first or read that book, gather more information and then, maybe, I will be ready.

Whenever our brain interprets something as a threat to us, and this can be an imagined thread as our brain cannot distinguish between a real or imagined event, the survival mechanism is triggered, every time. Being in flight or fight mode is not conducive to thinking with clarity, making logical decisions or generating great ideas. In fact in the survival mode we have limited access to our prefrontal cortex and our responses are automatic and run unconsciously. We only have access to patterns of behaviour already stored in our memory. If last time you wanted to get that important but daunting piece of work done, instead you checked your emails or your Facebook page or got lost in following endless links on the worldwide web and that made you feel much better, calmer and more relaxed, you will be very tempted to do exactly the same thing again next time you sit down to get to work. You’re out of danger, you’re safe.

For better or for worth, we are stuck with the older parts of our brain and the survival mechanism. However, there are several ways you can avoid the activation of the Amygdala and the Flight or Fight response when it is not necessary for our physical survival. When we are relaxing, the Amygdala is calm, it cannot be any other way. That’s why it is so important to make time for relaxation on a regular basis. Relaxation can be achieved in all kinds of different ways depending on what works for you individually. It can be meditation, yoga, listening to relaxing music, going for a run, a walk in nature or cooking a meal.

It is worthwhile to make sure we stay out of the flight or fight mode most of the time. Only in a calm, relaxed state do we have full access to all our mental resources. Timothy Gallway, the inventor of the Inner Game, created a very simple formula to express the effect of amygdala activation on our performance. He came to the conclusion that performance is the result of our internal potential minus interference from Self 1, the inner critic. He said that by quieting down Self 1 as much as possible and trusting Self 2 we can achieve our maximal potential, with ease and enjoyment.

You might ask yourself what is this Self 2? There was a time when you and your Self 2 were one and the same. Just look at some of your childhood photos, when you were entirely yourself in a free and unconstraint way, following your natural desire and interest, fully absorbed in the moment. This Self 2 is still well and alive within you.

Gallway says that focused attention is the gateway to our Self 2. When we pay full attention to what we are doing, without straining, in a relaxed way, we fully access our Self 2 and our natural resources. He also reminds us how important it is to have clarity about what we want to achieve and to observe how things are without judgement, as a neutral observer. With this neutral relaxed focus we screen out the doubtful Self 1 voices. We are in creative flow.

When we access Self 2 we are relaxed, we learn faster, we have full access to our mental resources, we achieve more, we work more efficiently, we produce better quality work, we connect better and we have more fun. This creates a state of harmony with our inner nature. We benefit and the world around us benefits as we can give our best.

Wouldn’t it be good to be in Self 2 mode more often?

Here is what you can do:

Over the next week, try the following:

1)   Become aware of your Self 1 voice, the inner critic.

2)   Realize that this is not the real you, which is Self 2.

3)   Make a decision to fully trust your Self 2 potential.

4)   Give your full attention to whatever you do.

5)   Become a neutral observer, cut out the judgments.

6)   Make regular time for relaxation.

7)   Notice the difference.

8)   Commit to accessing Self 2 as often as you can.


I find that Timothy Gallway’s Inner Game concepts could potentially be life changing. It will require some commitment and some practice in order to help build new neural pathways in our brain to build a fast and reliable access to Self 2 whatever we do. In my next blog posts I will introduce you to further ideas from the Inner Game.


So try the Inner Game and have fun!

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